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Ever wondered why Des O'Connor is the colour of pastry? Why nobody makes pies out of caviar? Why pies are freely eaten at football matches but never at the ballet? Why don't you turn off your tv set and go and do something less boring instead?

If you have a pressing pie-related question then email us. We'll do our best to answer, although we can't guarantee not to mention squirrels, Val Doonican or the finer points of outdoor pie detonation.

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